The man before the monster
by Skovko
Summary: There was a time Braun was happy. A time when he was loved and loved back. A time before he lost her. Now he's walking in the rain, on his way to see her. (Inspired by the song "All The Pretty Things" by Otherwise.)


Braun wasn't always a monster. Although the time where he was a normal and loveable man seemed like a lifetime ago, he still remembered it. He remembered it all too clearly. Back in the days where he had felt like he belonged, where he had loved and been loved back, back before everything faded to black.

Back when he had Willow.

Her corn blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes were still fresh in his mind even though years had passed. He never allowed her memory to go away and he forcefully stared at pictures of her everyday. She was the love of his life and he doubted he would ever find someone again to make him feel that way. Not that he wanted to either.

The loss of her had created the monster. He was always so angry and he pretended it was all a show for his gimmick. It worked perfectly. He got to take out his anger night after night on his opponents and no one ever raised as much as an eyebrow and questioned if the anger went away when he left the show. They just assumed it did, that he returned to normal like everyone else.

Normal was a lifetime ago.

The rain was falling on his face but he didn't care. It wasn't heavy rain but still enough to make his hair wet. The cold went through his coat and the fog seemed to cloud his vision although he wasn't sure if it was actually the fog or his thoughts doing that.

He was going to see her.

He stopped in front of a flowershop and looked through the window at the woman inside. He could see her lips were formed as if she was whistling while she arranged some flowers. There was a time he had looked just as happy and carefree too. He sighed and stepped inside the shop.

"Good morning, sir. How may I help you?" The woman asked.  
"I'd like a bouquet of purple flowers," he answered.  
"Anything in particular?" She asked.  
"No, just purple," he answered.  
"Her favourite colour?" She asked with a smile.

He swallowed and nodded. Of course the woman had seen men like him many times before. He didn't know anything about flowers. He just knew Willow loved purple and therefore he had always made sure to buy her purple flowers. Today wouldn't be any different.

"And the price range?" She asked.  
"It doesn't matter. Just make it the best bouquet you've ever made," he answered.  
"Anniversary?" She asked.  
"Yeah," he answered.  
"How many years?" She asked.  
"Too many," he answered.

She laughed at that and continued to work. Soon after he left the store with a beautiful bouquet of purple flowers. She had done a great job and he knew Willow would be happy about it.

He continued through the rain and fog, happy to find the streets almost deserted due to the weather. He didn't want to see anymore people on this day. His feet started feeling heavy as he walked through the gate, leaving the monster behind and bringing out the man he once was. There was no turning back, not that he wanted to turn back, but it was still hard to carry on. He sat down on the wet ground and placed the bouquet down in front of him.

"Hi sweetheart," he said.

He pushed some of the dead leaves away so he could better see her name. That was all he had left. Her name on a tombstone.

"I hate this day," he sighed. "It was raining that day too. I know I probably wouldn't have seen him coming but I can't help but wonder if the sun had been shining if I would have seen him and been able to brake before he hit our car."

His face was wet and it wasn't from the rain alone. The tears flowed freely and he didn't even try to stop them or wipe them away.

"Stupid, idiotic, drunken driver!" He growled. "He took you from me, Willow! It's not fair!"

He stopped himself before he would spit out more angry words. He had made a promise to himself and her that he would never bring the anger into this sacred place when he came to talk to her.

"Sorry, sorry," he said. "I just miss you so much, sweetheart. They say time heals all wounds but it's not true. It still feels like yesterday and I don't know how to move on without you. I know you always said to take one day at the time and I have been doing that but I can't move on. I want you back."

He moved up on his knees and leaned in to place a kiss on the tombstone.

"I love you," he whispered.

He got back up on his feet and walked away from the graveyard. As soon as he passed the gate again, the man he once was was gone and the monster was back. There was a time he wasn't a monster. A time where he had loved and been loved back. A time that had faded away.


End file.
